On My Radio.: The Regression of The English Language.

On My Radio.: The Regression of The English Language.: "This has nothing to do with Ebonics, illegal immigrants or the Irish. This has everything to do with the AIM, Facebook, Text messaging, Ya..."

The Regression of The English Language.

This has nothing to do with Ebonics, illegal immigrants or the Irish. This has everything to do with the AIM, Facebook, Text messaging, Yahoo messenger, Twitter, Myspace, Youtubing mutha-fucks that we have all become. Remember when you had to write in a complete sentence? If you are older than 24 you probably do and how regretful it is that we no longer practice this lost art-form. Remember when you were expected to speak with conviction and not say “like” every 3rd word? If you do, you are probably older than me and a part of a dying breed...The breed that doesn't “LOL.” There lies the real problem; LOL, BRB, OMG, OMFG, LMAO, LMFAO, ROFL and all the other “abbrevs (for you under 23 crowd)” that are single-highhandedly destroying our ability to articulate.

                We no longer speak English, unless it's to enhance our chances of securing employment, and even then it can be quite the struggle. Far be it for me to argue against the practicality of these abbreviations while using a cellular device that has text messaging, internet, a global positioning system, and youtube capabilities...yet only 160 text characters . In the early years of my cell-phone usage I too found myself frustrated, having only 160 characters at my disposal. Surely Sprint would realize that once one had used all these characters a brand new text would need to be created. This type of inconvenience could really cost you the battle if you were arguing through text (especially in 2005). If this usage of pseudo language had ended there we would be ok. Unfortunately we have become so lazy as a society that we have now begun to speak in these abbreviations instead of saying the complete word/phrase. Have our jaw and larynx muscles devolved so much over the last 15 years that uttering “OMG” aloud is a suitable substitute for saying “Oh My God. “ I have seen this America and so have you, and we have accepted it like neutered dogs. While I have still have my youth I had promised myself that I would not enter the realm of “crotchety old men” until I was at least well into my sixties (after all there are old men who have earned the right to be in this elite club, many of whom find considerable displeasure in the things I enjoy). However, after becoming a self admitted semi-wino before the age of 30 (I was certain I would hit this mark by 35 but Franzia box wine is a mistress I cannot seem to turn away from, when frustrated by inconsistencies) I am beginning to own up to the fact that my nostalgic mind, no matter how self-deluded, has no bounds and once my nostalgia is trampled upon....well...then I must get strong with someone.

           I can be lazy with the best of them Ladies and Gentlemen, however I seek to re-take ownership of my language. Many of us would benefit from such an exercise in vocal fitness . A little less Jersey Shore, and a little more reading can't hurt anything. A little less texting and a little more talking might make you sound half interesting. A little less “16 and Pregnant on MTV” and a little more of being thankful that you were not impregnated at the age of 16 will do us all some good. Sidenote: let's be realistic there aren't many programs as acidic to the human brain yet as sinfully good as “16 and Pregnant on MTV” or “Teen Mom.” Yeah I like books but I love train wrecks too, hence why I watch this show and engage in political discussions with Mormons.

On My Radio.: The Elephant in the Room-1

On My Radio.: The Elephant in the Room-1: "1. (Disclaimer)Everyday I see something that makes little to no sense to me. At times it's as if my eyes have chosen to play some type of ..."

The Elephant in the Room-1

1.

(Disclaimer)

Everyday I see something that makes little to no sense to me. At times it's as if my eyes have chosen to play some type of trick on me and convince me that shit that makes absolutely no sense what-so-ever should be happening on a daily basis. When I was in my early twenties I was able to take such aesthetic inconsistencies in stride, but now that I am solidly in my mid-twenties these inconsistencies do nothing but make me further appreciate the importance of quiet, dimly lit rooms, and online Virtua Tennis for the Playstation 3 gaming console. There is no real uplifting message to what is about to be written here and I am quite sure that writing this will give me very little catharsis ( much like Kim Kardashian's home made sex tape...I mean it looked good on paper, but once you realized Ray-J lacked lacked the sexual skills necessary to play the role of a competent partner it became apparent that this was gonna be 90 minutes that you would want back after it was over. Had to see that ass though, didn't ya). While very little social good can come from this, it is important that I acknowledge it. I must document/list this to ensure that I can never be accused of bitching aimlessly. No, I will bitch by distributing it on the internet where a whopping 19 people will have viewed this article after 3 months.

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  Skinny black men who date fat white chicks- This is something that has always confused me because I myself am a skinny black man, yet I have been able to make a solid effort to not become a statistic. I weigh all of 145 lbs soaking wet, with all my clothes on, after 3 bowls of spaghetti, a healthy cycle of creatine, three glasses of franzia box wine, with my Timbalands on. So I understand that being a skinny black man can be challenging and I am at peace with the fact that many American black men have an attraction to white women that simply cannot be explained or deduced on any scientific level. Date white women. The act alone is all types of fine, but please try and date pretty white women. If we must piss off black women everywhere we at least owe it to these disgruntled females to date white girls that are attractive and take decent care of themselves. I know why many brothas do it. The overweight white girl puts up with the brothas shit, pays his cell phone bill when needed, gives him a license to fornicate with other women (whether she knows it or not) and has that good city job. However, this can no longer be accepted....Stop being a bum brotha. Don't be mad just because Bill Cosby Called all of our asses out in public. Do something with yourself and don't date the poor girl just because she will put up with what other women won't. Date a girl you actually want to engage in sex with every 3 to 5 days.... And while you're at it, stop smoking so much weed...shit.